Time Travel Wednesday, 6-Toed Tomcats

My hybrid automobile gets miserly gas mileage in Eco-Mode, but Wormhole-Mode rips the ass out of my wallet.

The bottom line is that time travel is allowed by the laws of physics
~Brian Greene, Professor, Columbia University

Mariel Hemingway direct messaged me on Twitter. She read my time-travel blog post about my charming lunch with Colonel Josiah Snelling where I gained a prospective into 19th century westward expansion.

Mariel wondered if I could fire up my hybrid to drive her back to Papa Hemingway's Key West crib circa 1950 so that she might interact with the original 6-toed tomcat the sea captain purportedly gave to her grandfather. Turns out Mariel owns a descendant of the mutant polydactyl that lives with her in Malibu.

I had to put it to her delicately, in a series of 140 character Tweets, that there's no such thing as time travel. The salient Tweet was this --

Traversable wormholes can be reasoned theoretically, but are impractical to carry out.

No response from her yet.

Put another way, all this delusional time travel nonsense is predicated on my wife letting me drive the Delorean. The Prius will put us in the poor house if used for time travel.

Worried silly that I might have miffed the literary gods by misleading one of their lovely progeny with a fictional account of time travel, I sent Mariel a poem about Papa's Key West place called Six-Toed Tomcats, plus a recipe for the Hemingway Daiquiri - which she probably already has.

Six-Toed Tomcats

Every senile house frau and post-war
Pensioner from Piscataway to Yonkers
Retired here June of the same year
Seconds after every alligator swamp
Was back-filled with jetty dredge

Bootleg booze and sunset cruises
Smuggled from Cuba during prohibition
People in shorts dropped from the sky
Like Papa Hemingway's six-toed tomcat
Chucked in the pool from a motel balcony

Marine architects and salvage wreckers
Fishing trophy marlin and schools of skipjack
Fathoms from home-port lagoon cesspools
And predictable stops at Outback Steakhouse
Key West to munch on kookaburra wings

Hemingway Daiquiri

1. Juice of an eighth of a grapefruit and a lime
2. Add a dash of maraschino liqueur
3. Drop in a shot and half of light rum
4. Shake with ice and strain
5. Serve straight up in a cocktail glass
6. And remember, the Delorean has no cup holders!